Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors

By Robert Ringer

There is much truth to the axiom
"No one knows what goes on behind closed doors."
Why do we assume that people in high positions
don't have realproblems? Lacking perfection ourselves,
I believe we have a psychic need for perfection in
important people.

From OJ to Robert Blake... from Britney to Lindsay...
from Rep. Mark Foley to Senator Larry Craig... it's
amazing the things we plebians are discovering about
what goes on behind the closed doors of the rich and famous.

The topper for me in this regard was the revelation that
Tom Wolfe's "right stuff" people - our astronauts -
aren't perfect after all. That door opened to the whole
world when astronaut Lisa Nowak was arrested last February
and charged with the attempted kidnapping of U.S. Air Force
Captain Colleen Shipman, the girlfriend of astronaut William Oefelein.

When Tom Wolfe wrote The Right Stuff, I don't think he had
valedictorian/astronaut-turned-stalker Lisa Nowak in mind.
And he certainly didn't have wigs, diapers, rubber tubing,
and serrated knives in mind.

What would cause such an all-American woman to flip her wig?
(Pun intended.) The first thing that comes to mind is Buddha's
admonition that "all unhappiness is caused by attachment."

It's healthy and wonderful to fall in love... no argument on
that point. But when a person's love is so desperate -
so irrationally based - that she is willing to commit acts
of violence in order to keep the object of her affection in
her clutches (which, of course, wouldn't work anyway), her
psyche is definitely in outer space.

It is somewhat self-evident that anyone who would go to such
extremes is lacking in self-confidence and self-esteem.
Again, love is wonderful. But when it becomes a life-or-death
matter, I believe it reveals a neurotic - and possibly psychotic - insecurity.

Your happiness should never depend on how another person
feels about you. Happiness results from feeling good about yourself.
You cannot hold anyone emotionally captive, and you should never allow
ANYONE to do it to you.

But, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem aside, Lisa Nowak's
antics should again remind us how true it is that "no one knows
what goes on behind closed doors."

I've long taken media hype with a grain of salt, and I'm not
overly impressed with titles, awards, commendations, and the like.
(Remember, the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to
Yasser Arafat and Kofi Annan!)

But it's not just famous people whose personal realities are
often far different from the perceptions they convey. There
are many people in everyone's micro-world who are perceived
to be important - civic leaders, church bigwigs, school officials,
wealthy individuals, and those with impressive titles (e.g., "doctor," "lawyer," "judge," "director").

It's fine to show respect to those who have earned their way
to top positions in society, but it's a mistake to assume that
they live pristine, automaton-like lives when out of public view.

Whenever I hear a sordid tale - like that of an astronaut's psyche
being stranded in outer space - it confirms my long-held belief
that many people in the highest stations (e.g., those who have the
authority to press the nuclear button!) may very possibly have less
emotional stability than you or I.

Not much you can do about that.
But you can do a lot about your own psyche by not being overly
impressed with the elites around you. And by never losing sight
of the reality that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Have a great week,
T.Draganova