Nov 24, 2007

The truth

In Jerry Spence's book, "How to Argue and Win Every Time"
he states it clearly:

"The most articulate, greasy-lipped lawyer is not
able to fool ordinary juries, at least not for long. But my
two-year-old grandson, pounding the table with his rattle, is credible.
He cannot launch a pedagogical argument brimming with splendid language.
Yet, when the child cries, we know he is hungry or tired. Credibility
is becoming the child."

Could YOU be more credible?
Could YOU wear your heart on your sleeve a little more?
Could YOU be open to becoming the child again?

Winston Churchill said: "What the people really want to
hear is the truth. It is the exciting thing - to speak the
truth."

Today, at least, try being more open to the truth.Try being more
readable. More honest. More sharing. More "heart-on-sleeve."And see
what a difference being more genuine and credible really makes.

Open to You,

T.Draganova

Nov 18, 2007

Think about the way we treat people.

Five lessons to make you think about the way we treat people.

First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz.
I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions
until I read the last one:'What is the first name of the woman who
cleans the school?'
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times.
She was tall,dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her
name?I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before
class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward
our quiz grade.'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers,you
will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention
and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello.'
I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain One night, at 11:30 p.m., an
elderly African-American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama
highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and
she desperately needed a ride.Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the
next car.A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in
those conflict-filled 60s.. The man took her to safety, helped her get
assistance and put her into a taxi cab. She seemed to be in a big hurry,
but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and
a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise,a giant console color TV
was delivered to his home. A special note was attached. It read:' ‘Thank
you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain
drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came
along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's
bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and
unselfishly serving others. 'Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.

Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,a 10-year-old boy
entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass
of water in front of him.'How much is an ice cream sundae?' he asked.
'Fifty cents,' replied the waitress.The little boy pulled is hand out of
his pocket and studied the coins in it.'’ Well, how much is a plain dish of ice
cream?' he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and
the waitress was growing impatient.'’ Thirty-five cents,' she brusquely
replied. The little boy again counted his coins.'I'll have the plain ice
cream,' he said.The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the
table and walked away. The boy finished the ice-cream, paid the cashier
and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped
down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,were two
nickels and five pennies.You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because
he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid
himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock.
Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along
carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant
laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the
road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After
the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in
the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins
and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who
removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of
us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
our condition.

Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a
little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease.
Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her
5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and
had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor
explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy
if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him
hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, 'Yes
I'll do it if it will save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay
in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color
returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He
looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, 'Will I start
to die right away'. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his
blood in order to save her.

Now you have 2 choices. 1. Forgot about this post, or
2. Forward it to people you care about (including me.)
I hope that you will choose No. 2
'Work like you don't need the money,
love like you've never been hurt,
and dance like you do when nobody's watching.'


Have a great week,
T.Draganova

Nov 11, 2007

Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors

By Robert Ringer

There is much truth to the axiom
"No one knows what goes on behind closed doors."
Why do we assume that people in high positions
don't have realproblems? Lacking perfection ourselves,
I believe we have a psychic need for perfection in
important people.

From OJ to Robert Blake... from Britney to Lindsay...
from Rep. Mark Foley to Senator Larry Craig... it's
amazing the things we plebians are discovering about
what goes on behind the closed doors of the rich and famous.

The topper for me in this regard was the revelation that
Tom Wolfe's "right stuff" people - our astronauts -
aren't perfect after all. That door opened to the whole
world when astronaut Lisa Nowak was arrested last February
and charged with the attempted kidnapping of U.S. Air Force
Captain Colleen Shipman, the girlfriend of astronaut William Oefelein.

When Tom Wolfe wrote The Right Stuff, I don't think he had
valedictorian/astronaut-turned-stalker Lisa Nowak in mind.
And he certainly didn't have wigs, diapers, rubber tubing,
and serrated knives in mind.

What would cause such an all-American woman to flip her wig?
(Pun intended.) The first thing that comes to mind is Buddha's
admonition that "all unhappiness is caused by attachment."

It's healthy and wonderful to fall in love... no argument on
that point. But when a person's love is so desperate -
so irrationally based - that she is willing to commit acts
of violence in order to keep the object of her affection in
her clutches (which, of course, wouldn't work anyway), her
psyche is definitely in outer space.

It is somewhat self-evident that anyone who would go to such
extremes is lacking in self-confidence and self-esteem.
Again, love is wonderful. But when it becomes a life-or-death
matter, I believe it reveals a neurotic - and possibly psychotic - insecurity.

Your happiness should never depend on how another person
feels about you. Happiness results from feeling good about yourself.
You cannot hold anyone emotionally captive, and you should never allow
ANYONE to do it to you.

But, lack of self-confidence and self-esteem aside, Lisa Nowak's
antics should again remind us how true it is that "no one knows
what goes on behind closed doors."

I've long taken media hype with a grain of salt, and I'm not
overly impressed with titles, awards, commendations, and the like.
(Remember, the Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to
Yasser Arafat and Kofi Annan!)

But it's not just famous people whose personal realities are
often far different from the perceptions they convey. There
are many people in everyone's micro-world who are perceived
to be important - civic leaders, church bigwigs, school officials,
wealthy individuals, and those with impressive titles (e.g., "doctor," "lawyer," "judge," "director").

It's fine to show respect to those who have earned their way
to top positions in society, but it's a mistake to assume that
they live pristine, automaton-like lives when out of public view.

Whenever I hear a sordid tale - like that of an astronaut's psyche
being stranded in outer space - it confirms my long-held belief
that many people in the highest stations (e.g., those who have the
authority to press the nuclear button!) may very possibly have less
emotional stability than you or I.

Not much you can do about that.
But you can do a lot about your own psyche by not being overly
impressed with the elites around you. And by never losing sight
of the reality that no one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Have a great week,
T.Draganova