Jan 28, 2008

Change others

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll
understand what little chance you have in trying to change others."
-- Jacob M.Braude!

I'm sure we've all wished, at some point or another, for someone
to change their ways.

Perhaps a friend. A work colleague. A relative. Maybe even a stranger.

"If only they would do this or that..." "If only they'd be more like
such-a-body..." "I wish she would change her ways..."You know the kind
of thing...But however much you wish and hope, you can't change
someone. They have got to do that for themselves.There's a great line
in the film "The Matrix" where Morpheus tells Neo something along the
lines of...

"I can open the door -- But you have to walk through it."
And that's just it. The most we can do for others is open the door...
a door-way to better choices and increased opportunities for personal
growth.You can certainly inspire, inform, influence or support someone in a
positive way towards change, but that's as far as it goes.And,
ultimately, you can only help someone who wants to change!Like Jacob's
quote, you know how challenging it can be to make changes yourself.So,
stand back a little ... accept that some people do not want to change
or are quite happy with their lives ... and direct your energies to
either changing yourself or to those who want to change and appreciate
your guidance.

Enjoy your day!
T.Draganova

Jan 13, 2008

The Power of Prosperity

So what's the secret of creating prosperity? And just what does
prosperity really encompass?

It's a subject that has been studied and taught for ages. Yet
there is so much misinformation about the topic it's staggering.
Here are a few things we can say for sure:
The cliché that money doesn't buy happiness is true for the most
part. But it is also a safe bet to say poverty puts a large down
payment on unhappiness.

We can say that money alone does not make someone prosperous.
However, we don't ever want to make statements like, "It's just
money," or "just things." We know at their core level, money and
all things are actually energy vibrations. And positive or neutral
energy can be repelled by negative energy.

So what makes up real prosperity?

I believe it is a multi-faceted state. Health certainly plays a
large factor. Having a body that can't keep pace with your mind
can be a very distressing situation. Healthy relationship would be
another big factor. We all need people to share things with,
challenge us, and keep us vital. It's important that some of those
people call us on "our stuff," and protect against the very human
tendency toward delusion and narrow mindedness.

Another big part is a strong spiritual connection - being grounded
and in touch with the force greater than us all. I don't subscribe
to the judgmental beliefs of some in organized region that only a
devotion to a specific deity provides peace and harmony. I know
people of many faiths, and others who have a powerful connection to
nature or universal law that have attained wonderful states of
spiritual bliss.

I am sure many would find it shocking that I suggest both
selfishness and selflessness play a part as well. And those two
things are not as exclusive as they may seem on the surface. To
reach real prosperity, you must take care of your own needs first.
Contrary to what many believe, if more people were selfish, the
world would be a much kinder place. Taking care of other people's
needs before your own leads to co-dependency and enablement, and
very unhealthy mental health for all involved.

Yet part of being selfish can be the joy you get from helping
others. Helping those less fortunate than yourself makes you feel
good. And it can provide you with a greater appreciation for the
blessings you have in your own life. That feeling of gratitude is
a powerful prosperity element.

We must also develop certain traits and skills to manifest abundant
prosperity into our lives. We need self-discipline, the power of
concentration, a thirst for knowledge, and an active imagination.
These things keep us moving forward on personal growth, give us
determination to overcome temporary obstacles, and seeking greater
good - but without losing the balance necessary to enjoy that
greater good. Which takes us back to the most intriguing
question...

Just how important are money and material things to living a life
of prosperity?

I think they are less important than many poor people believe - yet
a lot more necessary than many mystical and religious leaders
suggest. Like a lot of poor people, when I was broke, I thought
money would solve all of my problems. Rich people had a lot of
things I wanted and I thought having them would bring me happiness.
That turned out not to be the case. I went from being a very
unhappy and poor to a very cynical person with money.

I bounced from one dysfunctional relationship after another. And
once I started to get money, I tried to fix these with that money.
So every time a relationship reached a stress point, I thought a
new dinette set, an expensive piece of jewelry, or a European
vacation would solve it.

Of course, that just prolonged the inevitable. The core issue was
my worthiness issues. Because I had low self-esteem,
subconsciously I didn't believe I deserved to be happy. This
prevented me from accepting love, and thus unable to open up and
give it. When you love yourself, you can love another, and find
great happiness with each other, even in the absence of material
wealth. If you don't like yourself, you'll do nothing but find
fault in everyone and everything around you.

We like to believe that money and things can solve all of our
problems, but usually they can just assuage our feelings or
distract us from the core causes. If you make bad choices when you
are poor, there is no reason to believe that you won't make the
same bad choices if you were to win the lottery or inherit a
sizable fortune. In fact, research has shown conclusively that
poor people who come into a windfall almost invariably face
disaster because of it.

To achieve happiness, I had to do a whole lot of work on myself.
And that's when prosperity started to manifest itself more and more
for me. But that takes us back to that intriguing question
again...

Acquiring
material possessions can become a slippery slope, always seeking
for the next thing. And money can have the same effect. I think
one of the most lack expressions ever spoken is, "how much is
enough, anyway?" But that doesn't mean that some people never
stop seeking more money at the expense of true prosperity.

I don't think, "having your needs met" can really qualify for
prosperity and abundance. You have no need to see a rainbow, hear
your favorite singer sing, or play with a puppy. Yet these things are
wonderful demonstrations of prosperity. And if you reduce your
wants to only the things you need such as shelter and food, you
would miss some extraordinary things that can add much texture, joy
and beauty to your life.

The skeptic mired in lack, makes statements like, "a car just takes
you from point A to point B." What nonsense.

Money can do a lot for your prosperity. And so can material
things.

This is not to diminish the ever-present prosperity that surrounds
us at all times. Eating a three-dollar frozen pizza while watching
a thunderstorm can be as wonderful as a $500 dinner at D'Vito's in
South Beach.Spending a four-hour dinner engrossed in
thought-provoking conversation with good friends can give you a
greater high than buying a $20,000 watch.

But you don't have to choose...

Nature presents us with opportunities to experience abundance all
the time. And as sentient beings with inquisitive minds, we have
all kinds of chances to develop even greater prosperity. Why not
celebrate it all?

Have a great week,
T.Draganova